Perspective and “Ambitious Resolutions”
Just when I think that I cannot get any more perspective thrown at me…this morning I heard the news that a very dear friend of mine lost her baby brother. He spent this past year battling severe complications from his Type 1 Diabetes, spending time in the hospital, needing a kidney transplant, and subsequently losing his job and health insurance because of taking too much time off of work. It was a horrible year for him, and this morning around 1:30 am, he gave up his battle and went Home. He was 35.
Jason’s loss is yet another reminder to treat our time here as precious. In 2011, a friend lost her husband to melanoma at the age of 36. In 2012, my dad succumbed to a massive heart attack at the age of 58. And now, just two days into the year, another friend loses her brother to diabetes at the age of 35. What does any of this have to do with Resolutions?
Resolutions have become a four letter word. They frequently represent all that is shallow or superficial in our world. “I want to be skinny, I want more money, I want to be pretty.” Hallow promises that we have no intentions of making. But when Perspective hits you over the head over and over again, Resolutions are no longer hallow promises but true goals for a happy life. I want to live an incredible life. Not a picture perfect, Pinterest-y, PotteryBarn-catalog life. A life that is perfect for Me. It may not be pretty at times, it may not look ideal to others, but it should be lived without fear, with little regret. So that even if I am not here to see 2014, I will know that my life was moving in a forward momentum, not backward or stagnant.
I have had some feedback regarding my Goals post from yesterday, mostly positive, but definitely with some twinges of “My, aren’t you ambitious!” I did not come to that list randomly. I spent the past few months praying about myself, my life, what is in my heart. Am I doing things for myself, or others? If I were do things for me, what would my life look like? I asked God for perspective (which he seems to be offering plenty) and to soften my heart to my life’s possibilities. How can I live my best life, provide for my family and help support others along the way?
I had an opportunity to apply for a real, bona fide job a month or two ago, a job that would have brought me back into the corporate world, with the potential for a significant income. I prayed hard for days. And yet each morning, I knew God was telling me what was on my heart. And that that life is not it. It is for many people. Many of my goals listed yesterday came from my many conversations with God. It is hard to listen to Him at times, especially so many others have plenty of opinions with how you should be living your life. But in the end, the only one I have to answer to is Him.
Now, I am pretty sure that I did not pray to God about what time to have dinner. There were items on that list that are more superficial, silly even in the scheme of things. I said the same thing last year about Date Nights, Couples Nights, and Family Time. Stating it out loud, we did more of those things than the year before. Maybe this year we’ll do even more. Not everything has to be life changing, but speaking with Intention helps me.
I strongly recommend quiet time with yourself. With God or whatever higher power you trust in. Listen to your heart. Put those things on paper. Be intentional. It is OK if your dreams do not match others’ expectations. This is your life.
I have the sudden urge to listen to some Dave. My favoritist song by my favoritist band:
Prayers to all families mourning the loss of a loved one today. There are so many. HUGS & Love to everyone!