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Transformation. And my Heart’s Desire.

April 9, 2013

Transformation pic  March 2013To say that this past year has transformed me would be an understatement. Let us recap:

  • I lost 38 pounds and five pants sizes. You can hate me, because I am officially one of those skinny bitches who wears a size 2.
  • I lost my dad to a sudden, massive heart attack. Unexpectedly, like a freight train through the heart while the rug was pulled out from under me.
  • I completely shifted my mind frame. I wish I knew exactly how, but it was a slow change, and I approach life and exercise and food and self completely different than I did before.
  • I strengthened my relationship with God, renewing my faith in something greater than myself to rely on.
  • I am physically and mentally stronger today than I have ever been in my entire life, and I am so excited to realize that this journey continues and I cannot wait to see where it takes me!

I am not sure that all of that is required to undergo a physical transformation, but it certainly helped to have the mental shift go along with the physical. But now I find myself walking this thin line between motivating others and inadvertently shaming them. It is an incredibly thin line.

We are a visual, quick-message kind of people, we do not want all the details. So while there is a long version of my transformation story, the day in and day out of difficulty and struggle to get truly healthy and fit, I have to put the short story out there as well if I want to catch most people’s attention.

While the short story is easier to take in, I am left with the fear that…

  • People are only going to focus on the pounds lost and the skinny person that came out.
  • People only want the quick and easy part, when nothing about this transformation was quick or easy.
  • People are going to see my after picture and then look in the mirror, and feel terrible about themselves rather than motivated by the possibilities.

Even though I post the transformation picture, and create the short (marketing) messages to get a reader’s attention, I never, ever want to glamorize dieting, or being skinny, or shame anyone on where they are right now.

So please let me set some basic thoughts out there:

  • You do not have to be a size 2 or a certain weight to be worthy. Period. Skinny is not necessarily healthy or fit or better or worth it.
  • But please do not assume that the other extreme is okay, either. God gave you this amazing body, capable of great things. It can do almost anything you put your mind to, no matter its size. Give it love, feed it good foods, move it on a daily basis. How you treat your body is a reflection of how you love yourself. You are indeed worth of your own love.
  • While there are great kickstarts and so-many-day challenges out there to get you started, these are only launching pads. The AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge does get an average of 10 pounds and 10 inches lost, and this is the “marketing” we put out to catch that short-term attention span, but in phone conversations with me and my mentor, we will reiterate that what the Challenge is really about is giving you 24 days to build new habits to make permanent changes.
  • You cannot “go on a diet.” You must change your diet. If you ask yourself, “So when can I go back to eating normal,” then you need to make this mental shift: If you succeed, your “normal” is going to change. There is no going backward, only forward. 
  • You, as you are now, are perfectly flawed and beautiful. Your worth is not in any way defined by your pants size or the scale. When you take on a major physical transformation, and put in the work, and face these challenges, you will learn that these are not just words. YOU are amazing. 


I feel like I am having trouble putting into words the heart of my message. This idea that as health and fitness blogger I am going to encourage you to embrace Change while reiterating that you are amazing right now. I am going to tell you that you do not have to be a size 2 to inspire others, yet what I have to share with you is my size 2 photo. Eek. I want to motivate you to take better care of your body and make the most out of your life while you are here, while at the same time reassure you that you are perfectly wonderful, inside and out,  just the way you are. Did I mention that this was a very thin line?

I think the best way to say it is: YOU are an incredibly amazing person where you are right now, and let me show you that there is something even more fantastic just outside of your comfort zone. I hope that today, at least, I am expressing my true heart’s desire in how I want to help others. I cannot control how others interpret my words and actions, but I never want to Shame. Degrade. Diminish.

I only want to Inspire. Empower. Motivate.

So many HUGS and love to everyone out there today! Thank you so much for sharing in this journey, and I hope that someday you feel like your story is worth sharing with others as well.

Amy first name only signature

4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 24, 2013 1:27 am

    I love this Amy! I admire your courage, congratulations on the new life you have found!

    • May 6, 2013 9:06 pm

      Thanks so much, Kelly! I see you’re from Colorado – are you on Leah’s team?
      It’s been a huge transformation, at times scary and most definitely new territory. What is enjoyable is to share the story and walk side by side with others who are doing the same. I appreciate your support!

      • May 7, 2013 2:50 am

        Yes, I am on Leah’s team. I’ve overcome some challenging health issues and so much growth has happened for me on so many levels. I’ve been able to reclaim the Kelly from my youth. . . it’s great to be back! Hopefully will get a chance to meet you;)

      • May 9, 2013 10:16 am

        Completely. Awesome!
        I plan on being at Cowboys Stadium in August! No plans for a trip to Colorado, though.

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