Confession: I’ve been Wallowing.
An awesome vacation in Orlando was followed up by nine days of the Great Stomach Plague of 2013. (My poor boys. I would like to thank my immune system for keeping me on the up and up!)
I felt all alone (literally and figuratively). I did not care about AdvoCare, FitMommas, coaching, writing, reading. Unless it involved curling up in bed and watching endless hours of Netflix, I was not interested. So much for Inspiring, Empowering and Motivating, eh?
I woke up Tuesday, after days of prayer for release from the Wallowing, and read this:
Psalm 13. For the director of music. A psalm of David.
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
While this spoke to me, there was no miracle recovery. The day that followed was the crappiest of them all. (Hindsight: Not really. But my head sure thought it was.)
Despite my complete lack of desire, despite my attempt to come up with excuses, I forced myself (or rather, felt forced!) to attend an AdvoCare vision meeting hosted by Ron Reynolds, a man whom I saw speak at Success School, a man whose “Vitamins for the Mind” I (try) to read everyday.
I cannot stress enough how many times I almost bolted. Because the Wallowing was that deep.
But something kept me there, and in return, I received 90 minutes of Inspiration. Of get-over-yourself. Of dig-down-and-find-out-what-you’re-made-of. Plus, I made a personal connection with Ron and now have him in my corner as a cheerleader. (Thank You, Ron!)
Essentially, I fell down nine times in a row. I did not want to get up that tenth time. I have no doubt that something outside of myself got me to that meeting, and in front of someone who said exactly what I needed to hear. God answered my prayer, in his own time.
I do not know where you are today. Maybe you are on top of the world. Maybe you are in a deep valley. What I do know is that there is more to life than what you are experiencing today. Open yourself up to it. Send out that call for help or guidance, and be open to hearing the answer. And when you fall down nine times in a row, do not be afraid of getting up and trying again that tenth time.
And the next time you find yourself wallowing, please, do not hesitate to reach out to me. I do not wish it upon anyone, and will try to help you out from there. You have an advocate in me!